Shape Your Weigh

Failing Forward - The Benefits of Mistakes

I'm currently reading Failing Forward by John Maxwell and wanted to share an excerpt from his book.

Working artists David Bayles and Ted Orland, in their book, Art & Fear: Observations On the Perils (and Rewards) of Artmaking, tell a story about an art teacher who did an experiment with his grading system for two groups of students. It is a parable on the benefits of failure. Here is what happened:

The ceramics teacher announced on opening day that he was dividing the class into two groups. All those on the left side of the studio, he said, would be graded solely on the quantity of work they produced, all those on the right solely on its quality. His procedure was simple: on the final day of class he would bring in his bathroom scales and weigh the work of the “quantity” group: fifty pounds of pots rated an “A,” forty pounds a “B,” and so on. Those being graded on “quality,” hoever, needed to produce only one pot – albeit a perfect one – to get an “A.” Well, came grading time and a curious fact emerged: the works of the highest quality were all produced by the group being graded for quantity. It seems that while the “quantity” group was busily churning out piles of work – and learning from their mistakes – the “quality” group had sat theorizing about perfection, and in the end had little more to show for their efforts than grandiose theories and a pile of dead clay.

It doesn’t matter whether your objectives are in the area of art, business, ministry, sports, or relationships. The only way you can get ahead is to fail early, fail often, and fail forward.

This really struck a chord with me.  I don't like to make mistakes.  I mean really...who does?  I was teased a lot in school growing up.  I never wanted to draw attention to myself.  Never wanted to make a mistake and have someone laugh at me.  I'd strive to do things perfectly so that would NEVER happen.  If I made a mistake, I'd be quick to try and hide it hopeful no one would notice.  On some level it became wrong to make mistakes.

Maxwell attempts to change our thinking about mistakes in this book.  The idea is that we truly grow when we allow ourselves to make mistakes.  How often do you find yourself wishing you could do something, but don't out of fear?  Worried people will laugh at you?  Or that you'll look like a fool.  Like the students above, you waste your time mulling the "perfect" plan in your head, looking for the perfect solution instead of just going for it.  I know I've faced this battle a few times with fitness.  "What program should I follow?  What food should I eat?  I know this food is healthy but maybe if I do this...or this it could be better?"  Just pick something, stick to it and get it done.  If you stumble and make a mistake - learn from it and keep going.  Don't live for yesterday or tomorrow - focus on today.  Yesterday is gone.  Today is all we have.  If you miss a workout for a poor excuse or eat something you shouldn't, learn from the experience.  Acknowledge where you went wrong.  Were you hungry?  Were you depriving yourself too much?  Were you getting enough sleep?  Use these "failures" as an opportunity to learn and move forward.

Thoughts?

Feel That Tune?

Welcome to my second post using the How Now - 50 Ways to Celebrate the Present Moment cards.  Today's card is: Feel That Tune? 

The human voice is like an orchestra.  Each sound it makes connects us to a different emotional or sensory state.  Taking our voices beyond their usual range brings new possibilities to each passing moment.  To do so, find a location where no one else can hear you.  Then start humming, whooping, chirping, and clucking.  Make every sound that comes to mind, from bass to falsetto, from whisper to shout.  Every time you feel silly, just bow to the sensation and keep going.  Let one sound shift into another until you don't know what's coming next, until the sounds are leading you.

If you are interested in purchasing these cards you can buy them online through the Amazon website.  Enjoy!

Victory and Getting the Work Done

"You will not do the work if you do not believe you will achieve the victory."

I read this quote last night and it hit me just how true it is.  A lot of people have asked me how hard it was to lose 125 lbs and how hard it os to keep it off.  I never lie.  Losing weight was easy, keeping it off is a lifetime committment.  What differentiates someone who loses weight and keeps it off from someone who loses weight and puts it back on?  I think a lot of it has to do with believing in yourself.

I had to hit absolute rock bottom before I decided it was time to change my life around.  I was close to tipping 300 lbs on the scale and I was only 25 years old.  I struggled climbing a flight of stairs.  I couldn't buy nice clothes.  I felt horrible.  I KNEW I had to make a change and I believed I could do it.  I knew I HAD to do it.  I worked with trained professionals that helped me SEE that I could do it.  I used their knowledge, encouragement and my own determination to get there.  One day at a time, with the support of my family and friends I made my transformation.

You can make a transformation in your life too.  Whatever it is that you want you just have to believe you deserve the victory and start working for it.  Don't kid yourself with thinking it's going to be easy.  What do we value the most in life?  The items we work hard for.  Remember working hard to afford your first car?  Or if you were like me, you spent an entire summer delivering newspapers just to afford that special toy you had to have.  I'm sure we remember toys that were given to us as presents and that they hold special meaning but I'm willing to bet you remember the ones you worked the hardest for more vividly.

What are you dreams and ambitions?  What victories are you looking to achieve?  Don't wait by the sidelines waiting for it to be handed to you by someone else.  Get busy working.  Guaranteed that while you're sitting there "waiting" for your life to change, someone else out there is doing the hard work and already achieving what you want.  The difference is, they realized they had to take charge of their lives.  Don't let life pass you by - get started Today!

Slow Dance Poem

Have you ever watched kids
on a merry-go-round?

Or listened to the rain
slapping on the ground?

Ever followed a butterfly’s erratic flight?
Or gazed at the sun into the fading night?

You better slow down
Don’t dance so fast

Time is short
The music won’t last

Do you run through each day
On the fly

When you ask “How are you?”
Do you hear the reply?

When the day is done,
do you lie in your bed

With the next hundred chores
running through your head?

You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast

Time is short
The music won’t last

Ever told your child,
We’ll do it tomorrow?

And in your haste,
not see his sorrow?

Ever lost touch,
Let a good friendship die

‘Cause you never had time
To call and say “Hi”?

You’d better slow down
Don’t dance so fast

Time is short
The music won’t last

When you run so fast to get somewhere
You miss half the fun of getting there.

When you worry and hurry through your day,
It is like an unopened gift….Thrown away…

Life is not a race.
Do take it slower

Hear the music
Before the song is over.

By: David L. Weatherford

The Ant and the Elephant

I just finished reading this great little book and I absolutely loved it!  If you are looking for a book to read about leadership and achieving your dreams then this book is a must read :)

The book "The Ant and the Elephant: Leadership for the Self" is the result of author Vince Poscente's exploration of the strategies that enable leaders, managers and employees to reach their true potential. Written as a quick read using an entertaining allegory between an ant and the elephant, the book contains strategic tools that you can use to create peak performers personally and personally. Below are the 5 C's needed to build peak performance:     

1. Clarify your vision.
Make fear your friend, not your master. You don't know what you don't know. Open your mind to discover possibilities that may not be obvious at the time. Zero in on a goal that has depth of meaning. The journey has to be worth taking.

2. Commit to cultivating positive dominant thoughts.
Shift beliefs, attitudes and truths so they are in alignment with your vision. Envision having the goal, rather than merely wanting the goal.

3. Consistently focus on performance.
Experience the goal as though it were happening right now. Show your gratitude consistently.

4. Strengthen confidence.
Frustration will lead to negative thoughts. Negative thoughts add fuel to more negativity. This negativity can be a pattern that destroys confidence. No two thoughts can occupy the mind at the same time. Replace negativity with positive, confident thoughts.

5. Control the response to any situation.
Unforeseen circumstances will arise. Expect the unexpected. Anticipate your response to challenges as well as your team's.

Motivational Poem of the Day - Dance

As though no one is watching you.
Love
as though you have never been hurt before.
Sing
as though no one can hear you.
Live
as though heaven is here on earth.

How Now - 50 Ways to Celebrate the Present Moment

I bought this little gem at Indigo a few months ago during a trip to Moncton.  It was on the discount table for $4.99 and the pretty box caught my attention.  The box was shrink wrapped so I couldn't open it up or a preview.  I decided to take the less than $5 risk and give it a shot.  I enjoy reading self help and fulfillment books so I was hopeful these cards would be good.  I'm very happy to say they were worth every penny and much more.

Description on the back of the box

In every moment there is the opportunity for peace, joy, and fulfillment.  Most of us - caught up in the frenzy of everyday life - race by, leaving the gifts of each moment unclaimed.  If you're ready to stop stressing and start living, the How Now deck is your launch pad.  Inside, best-selling author Raphael Cushnir provides 50 meditations that will inspire, engage and reconnect you with the present moment.  From learning the secret of natural breathing to rediscovering the power of play, each card features a simple and joyous meditative exercise.  Card by card, you'll discover new ways to take stock of your life, shatter long-held fears, and reveal your true potential.  The How Now deck is your guide to achieving the life you were truly meant to live...beginning right now. 

I just recently started using these cards and following the exercises and I already feel they have helped me a great deal.  I plan on sharing a card on my blog from time to time to give my readers something to think about as well.  Here is my card for today.

The Gratitude Card (isn't she lovely?)

For those that find the card difficult to read I will type it out below:

Are You Growing Your Gratitude?

Gratitude increases in direct proportion to our focus upon it. To grow your own gratitude, make a list of 10 things for which you're grateful.  Once the list is complete, let yourself actually feel gratitude for each item.  Keep this list by your bedside and look it over frequently.  Every time you recognize another thing for which you're grateful, add it to the list.  The results are both immediate and lasting.

How are you growing your gratitude?  Think about it!

Motivation - What Works - What Doesn't

This video was shared on a group I belong to on LinkedIn.  I really enjoyed it and wanted to share it on my blog.  I hope you enjoy it.  The drawings are pretty cool too :)

 

250 lb Man vs Triathlon

Ever have one of those days where you are in need of some serious motivation?  Work is driving you nuts.  The kids are fussy.  Working out at the gym is the LAST thing you want to do.  Or maybe you think you would like to take part in a race but not until you reach your goal weight.  "I'll do it after I lose 30 lbs".   My friend Ricky provided me with some serious motivation this week after publishing his triathlon story on his blog.  Not only did he take part and finish a triathlon, he did so at 250 lbs.  I was so proud of Ricky when I read his story that I immediately e-mailed him to ask if I could share his blog post on my site.  Ricky kindly agreed.  Ricky is proof that when you put forth your heart and mind to a specific goal and do the hard work you WILL get results.  I'm so proud of you Ricky!

The Bike

http://www.thebike.ca/2011/08/250-lb-man-vs-triathlon.html

I've been debating about writing this story because I've never been big on self promotion but I think after a few months, I do have the right to be proud of this accomplishment.


The Plan

So here's the story.  My father has been one of the organizers for a small sprint triathlon held in late May.  He had suggested I try competing in it a few times but I never really felt the desire to do so.  I was not exactly triathlete material.  I was am overweight, couldn't run any distance, and didn't know how to distance swim.  Over the winter while talking with Rory (a riding buddy), we decided to give it a shot.  Neither one of us were runners, and neither one of us had any clue how to swim distance.  At this point, the only part of it that I had any confidence in was the bike ride.  I may not have been the fastest bike out there, but I knew finishing a 20k bike ride was not going to be an issue for me.  The swim and the run however had me quite worried. 

Over the last 2 years, in the winter to try and keep some fitness when the snow kept me off my bike, I had been doing some light running.  Unfortunately I had never worked my way up to the 5k required for the tri.  My outlook for swimming was even worse.  I have never done lane swimming in my entire life.  I knew how to swim, or rather not drown, but actually making any kind of time or distance was a foreign concept to me.

The training

So over the winter I start working on my running, doing 2-3 runs per week, staring with a mix of run and walk, gradually increasing the running until I was doing very little walking.  Unfortunately as May approached, I was still only able to do around 4k at a time, but figured I could grind out the last 1k if it came down to it. 

At the same time I started hitting the pool.  My wife is a swimmer so she came along to show me how to do it.   My first lap I realized I might be in trouble.  I didn't know how to breath properly, kick properly, or even stroke properly.  But after a few trips to the pool I was able to start doing some distance comfortably.  Before I knew it I was able to do the required 750m in under the required 30 minutes.  Not by much, but under the limit.  I was feeling pretty good about the swim portion, confident about the bike, and only mildly nervous about the run.

 

Continued from Part 1

Fast forward to race day.  The day dawned with drizzle and a single digit temperature.  Not the nicest way to start a race, at least the swim was going to be indoors in a heated pool.  By the time I get to the site, I'm feeling butterflies like I haven't felt in years.  Not since I used to do some X-Country Mountain bike racing had I felt like this.  I was by this point very worried, but it was too late for second though now. 

The race was setup with a number of heats because the pool only had capacity for 5 at a time.  To keep the finishes relatively close, the slower swimmers such as myself and Rory were placed in the first heat.  As they count down to the start my nerves really start to get to me.  I'm vibrating in the water, I think I might puke, "please please please let me get through this swim in good shape".

GO! 

We're off, I'm off on my first lap.  Feeling strong, but pushing much too hard too soon.  Pure adrenalin is charging through my veins.  3 laps later I'm gasping for air, my strokes are all out of rhythm, my technique is out the window and I'm worried.   "Just keep going.... don't stop, you can do this.  It's just like training, CALM DOWN!" I take an extra breath at the end of the pool while turning, then settle down into a proper pace and get my stroke bake in order.  I've long since lost track of how many laps I need to do, so I keep plodding along, they will let me know when I'm done.  I sneak a glance at the clock, "25 minutes in???  I better be done soon."  I start to worry that I won't make the 30 minute cut off time.  Then the most welcome site of the morning, a flutter board in the water at the end wall... My signal that I've made it through the swim.

Jump out of the pool, grab a towel and start to dry off as best I can while running out side to the transition zone where my bike is waiting for me.  Step out the door... "GASP, it's freezing out here!"  I get into my socks, bike shoes, jersey, jacket, helmet, and glasses.  Stick an energy gel and a banana into my pocket and head out.  "God it's cold...."  Out on the bike course I settle into a good comfortable pace.  I'm getting passed by several others on much faster bikes as I begin to regret using my mountain bike with off road tires for this, instead of borrowing my fathers road bike.  Rory rides by with road tires on his mountain bike...He's always been a stronger rider than me anyway.  "Oh well, I'm just here to finish, not win" I have to keep reminding myself.  If nothing else, my Mountain bike is comfortable with it's dual suspension, and familiar to me.  The ride is uneventful, but with a head wind on the outbound leg, it's a bit of a tough ride, but nothing I can't handle.  I use the "easier" time to get some nutrition, and hydration for the run ahead of me.

I arrive back at the transition zone to change to the run.  Park the bike, pop the bike shoes off, and slip on the runners.  Take one last gulp of Gatorade and head off!  "Gahhh!  I can't feel my feet!"  The combination of being wet from the pool and the tight bike shoes have completely numbed me from the waist down.  I hear my feet smacking the ground instead of taping it, I can't control them properly.  This style of running is starting to hurt my calf's, and I'm not even 1k into this thing!  I mentally put my head down, and just concentrate on my stride, as the feeling gradually returns to my feet.  As I approach the turnaround point on the run course, I see Rory heading back towards me at the same time as my father (who started in a much later heat) catches up to me.  We all exchange encouragements and then I'm all alone with my doubts again.  "This is too hard, I'm not even half way there and I'm dead.  How am I supposed to do another 3k of this???"   I hit the turnaround, the wind is now at my back, the road is down hill, and I start feeling strong.  "I can do this!  I am invincible!  Bring it on!"  The music from Rocky starts playing in the back of my mind.... Yes I know it's cheesy, but when you need encouragement, you'll take what you can get.  The next 2k pass in a blur, and I find myself on the final stretch back to the finish line.  The line is in sight!  I give it one last push and "sprint" across the line. 

In the end, I made it out of the water before Rory, but he beat me badly in Bike and Run portions,
I finished dead last by about 10 seconds, I completed each of the 3 legs without taking a break, or even walking on the run portion, which in any case the my only real goal that I had set for myself.

Will I keep up the triathlons and work towards the big ones like my father and sister?  Probably not.  Will I do another sprint tri?  Definitely! 

Gary Kobat - Commitment

If you are not committed to you, who will be committed to you?

The answer: no one.

Don't think otherwise.

Be honest with yourself, your life belongs to you. 

You are responsible for it. No one else is.
There is no denial.

When we take responsibility, when we honor ourselves, 
the possibilities are infinite.

Gary Kobat